Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!

As usual, I'm thrilled that tomorrow is Friday.  It's been a pretty crazy few weeks (and weekends for that matter) and it will continue to be this way, but it's sure making the time fly!

Our wedding is 9 months from today.  :)  It still feels like forever, but 9 months isn't all that long anymore.  I think.  At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Today I got paid for the first time since June.  Thank God for that.  Of course, after paying the credit card bill which was not exactly small, I don't have much left for the month of October, but this is how I've been living since February, so oh well.  Lots of expenses and things to save for right now.  I can't wait to be married and have things settle down a little in terms of money.  We're saving to buy furniture and go on a honeymoon and buy a house eventually, so at least after we get married the furniture and honeymoon expense will be gone.

However, I don't want to think about the honeymoon being over because that's just sad.  The nice thing about still having 9 months to go is that I can keep looking forward to all the good stuff we have going on.  :)

I still CANNOT WAIT to move though.  That will never change.  4 months-ish.  Not that I'm counting down to that too, or anything...

I should take advantage of not having to be doing something tonight and go to bed early.  That's the smart thing to do.

Half-marathon: 9 days.  My birthday: 14 days.  Vegas for the sister's 21st: 77 days.  Wedding: 273 days!

The Long Weekend

Saturday was a fairly normal day.  I successfully completed my first 7 mile run, which was amazing.  I felt energized and like I could conquer the world.  I need to remember this motivated feeling when I have to wake up super early for runs these next few weeks.

Saturday afternoon was a wander around the mall kind of day, but between that and the run I had graded some quizzes.  I think this year is going to be heavier on the at-home grading.  Oh well.  Dinner was almost free at Ruby's Diner - we used the rest of the gift cards we had gotten last Christmas.  Yes, I know it's pathetic.

Part of the mall wandering included going to Sears to look at mattresses because they were having a massive sale.  We got some good information.

Sunday morning = church.  The sermon was especially relevant to the things that have been going on lately, which was both creepy (I had the urge to look up and say "not funny!" :) ) but also very comforting.  Then that afternoon we went over to Sit n Sleep to look at their mattresses, and we walked away with more very good information.  We had a family bbq later in the afternoon.

Today I did a 4.5 mile run that was not the most fun thing ever because I felt rather sluggish.  But I got through it and I'm proud of myself.  Then I had coffee with my future sister in-law, and it was a nice chat.  We needed it.  I then went home and finished grading quizzes and entered in a massive amount of scores.  After Mat finished his lifting class we went back over to Sit n Sleep and actually purchased our mattress!  We don't need it quite yet, but after having gone to a couple stores and asking questions, we determined that this was probably going to be the best opportunity to get it at the best price.  The next time there will be a good sale will be Thanksgiving, and there's no guarantee that the mattress we want/need will be marked down as low as it was this time.  Since Mat's parents are going to let us store it in the spare bedroom for a while, and then since his brother is going to get a storage unit while he moves home for a few months and we can share the unit with him, our mattress will have a home until it moves to its real home in a few months.  Either way, it's one more thing that we can cross off the massive list of things.

I continue to be frustrated with my living situation.  I feel very trapped.  I intend to just keep to myself and not talk so that I don't risk getting into stupid arguments, but that is not easy to do.  It also seems that my mom is feeling left out of the wedding plans (I do NOT know why on earth she would feel that way...) so I really can't stay super closed off.  There's more to it than that, but the jist of it is that I feel I am in a lose-lose situation and the only thing I can do is try to keep my mouth shut on things non-wedding and try to preserve my sanity by focusing on my job, running, and my little wedding projects.  

The other thing I deal with is my mom's dislike of us moving in together before the wedding, which we aren't really going to do anyway.  I think that she fears that if Mat transfers to an Irvine store before June/July, we'll end up spending every day/night together in our place in Irvine.  I have two responses to this: a) it really isn't her business - she may be providing us with an amazing wedding but what we do with our lives is up to us and b) I've already made it very clear to her that we ourselves do not want to be completely living together beforehand anyway, so if he does end up transferring early (and he would only do that if it ends up being the best option, not just so he can be in Irvine) we will still be back here some of the time too.

I fear I am letting her control my life.  I have already stood up to her, but I hate arguing and want to avoid it at all costs.  I will be out soon enough, yes, but it feels like an eternity.

And Now it Looks Like I'm Changing My Mind Again

I had yet another not so pleasant conversation with my mom today.  She's not happy at the prospect of us living together with 9 month still to go until we get married.  Apparently my dad isn't happy about it either.  I never actually said we were going to move next month or anything, but I guess I can see why they'd think that.

Financially, we should wait until after Christmas.  We'll be able to save a lot more money toward our future house as well as get a lot of useful presents.  My birthday is in October which means even more useful presents.

And, my mom seems open to the idea of us moving in closer to February/March.  I don't want to let parents control me or tell me what to do, and I told her that, and in the end I won't.  However, at the end of the day I also don't want to cause an argument.  If I stay here for a few more months and I'm stressed because of it, ok then I'm stressed.  If I move out "too soon" and then cause my parents to be really upset and angry at me for a while, then I'm just trading one stress for another.  And the second option will cost me money.  Moving out is supposed to relieve stress.  If it will just end up creating a new one, and all for the sake of a few months, it's not worth the money.

In the end, I will be out soon - 6 months or less.  I don't want this to be misunderstood as letting my parents control me simply because they don't feel it's "proper" to live together before you're married.  Because I made it very clear to my mom that she cannot tell me what to do.  I think it's the first time I've been that adamant about something.  It's not letting them control me, it's avoiding unnecessary anger on both ends for something that isn't COMPLETELY necessary.  Yes, I'm going insane.  Yes, I need my own life.  But my mom actually is right in that I'm about to have it.

Plus it's more money saved.  And we really could get that TV and blu-ray player we want.

The school year is starting and time will fly by.  Before I know it Christmas will be here.

A few more months.  I'm calling it a few.  It sounds more bearable.

I'm Thinking I Might Move Out. Soon.

We always intended to stay living at home until we got married.  There were a few reasons for this.  One was that we could save a lot more money to buy a house later.  Another was that we're a bit old-fashioned about such matters.  So much so that while we aren't super innocent (come on, we're human), we are of the wait until marriage type.

However.  This summer has shown me that I can't continue to live at home.  There are a lot of factors.  I'll be 26 in two months.  I live with my parents.  Anyone can see that this is not a good combination.  I also have a 20 mile drive to work.  That's 40 miles a day.  That's bad for the gas tank and the car.  That's bad for the sanity and the patience, of which I already have very little.

My parents were gone for 3 weeks at the beginning of the summer.  To say that Mat wasn't going to come and stay with me the whole time would be stupid.  Really stupid.  Of course he stayed.  I would be the stupid one if I wasn't going to take advantage of such a thing.

You know what?  It was really, really good for us.  We felt it, and both his mom and sister commented on it.  I think them commenting on it made me realize it even more.  When I'm home with my parents I'm grouchy and irritable and I pretty much stick to my room.  You know what else?  Living in a bedroom the majority of the time makes one crazy.  Perhaps it's worse lately because it's summer and I haven't been working, but during the school year it's not much different in the afternoon/evening and on the weekends.

Mat and I go out every Saturday night simply to get away.  Even if we end up spending more money (a lot more money) moving out, we at least won't be spending the $100+ a month on going out.  And we'll be eating healthier.  Helloooooo wedding dress!!

And really, we're getting married in 10 months anyway.  By the time we actually get a place, get some furniture, move, get settled, etc, the wedding will be 8 months away.  In the end, are we really living together prematurely?  Probably not.  Are we going to still wait until marriage for that one thing, even if it's weird to be living together and not doing it?  Yes, because we're strongly committed to that decision.  Will we have less money saved?  Yes.  But will my sanity be saved?  GOD YES, in more ways that one.