First Day of School

Tomorrow is the first day of school.

Last year on the night before the first day, I don't remember how I was feeling.  However, I think I was rather edgy and stressed and anxious.  First day in a new school, after all!

This year?  Eh, whatever.  :)  I'm pretty relaxed.  I'm more aware of what I'm doing simply because I haven't taught in a couple months and because the first day is different than other days, but I'm not on edge at all.

Once the year officially starts, I can think about how once I get through it, just this one year, I will be marrying the man of my dreams.

Oh yeah, and I'll nurture some young minds.  That's good too.  Hahaha.

The Dress!

I bought my wedding dress yesterday!  I absolutely love it, and now not only am I waiting 10 more months for our wedding, I have to wait until January or February for my dress to come in.  THEN, it has to be altered!  Ahhh I wish I could just wear it anytime.

Even though I've been dealing with a lot of emotional stress the past week, I know that our wedding day is going to be absolutely beautiful.  The location, the flowers, the centerpieces, everything is going to be amazing.  I wish time could just stand still on that day.  I get teary just thinking about it.  I love him so much.

And Now it Looks Like I'm Changing My Mind Again

I had yet another not so pleasant conversation with my mom today.  She's not happy at the prospect of us living together with 9 month still to go until we get married.  Apparently my dad isn't happy about it either.  I never actually said we were going to move next month or anything, but I guess I can see why they'd think that.

Financially, we should wait until after Christmas.  We'll be able to save a lot more money toward our future house as well as get a lot of useful presents.  My birthday is in October which means even more useful presents.

And, my mom seems open to the idea of us moving in closer to February/March.  I don't want to let parents control me or tell me what to do, and I told her that, and in the end I won't.  However, at the end of the day I also don't want to cause an argument.  If I stay here for a few more months and I'm stressed because of it, ok then I'm stressed.  If I move out "too soon" and then cause my parents to be really upset and angry at me for a while, then I'm just trading one stress for another.  And the second option will cost me money.  Moving out is supposed to relieve stress.  If it will just end up creating a new one, and all for the sake of a few months, it's not worth the money.

In the end, I will be out soon - 6 months or less.  I don't want this to be misunderstood as letting my parents control me simply because they don't feel it's "proper" to live together before you're married.  Because I made it very clear to my mom that she cannot tell me what to do.  I think it's the first time I've been that adamant about something.  It's not letting them control me, it's avoiding unnecessary anger on both ends for something that isn't COMPLETELY necessary.  Yes, I'm going insane.  Yes, I need my own life.  But my mom actually is right in that I'm about to have it.

Plus it's more money saved.  And we really could get that TV and blu-ray player we want.

The school year is starting and time will fly by.  Before I know it Christmas will be here.

A few more months.  I'm calling it a few.  It sounds more bearable.